On Niceness 👵

"Be nice” really means "silence yourself to make others comfortable". Niceness is what makes a good AFAB. Everyone knows lipstick is made for closed mouths. Sit down and shut up. Its an interesting premise isn't it? Thinking that being honest is rude. It implies that your true feelings are always negative. But being honest isn't necessarily rude. You don't have to put someone down to tell them no. In reality, niceness is weakness. Nice people are easy marks. Nice people can be manipulated and used.

Do not smile at strangers who try to talk to you, ignore them. Do not listen to telemarketers, tell them "let's not waste each others' time". Do not apologise for taking up space in public, say "pardon me" if you're in someone's way, not "sorry". Use your real voice when you talk to others, not the polite female voice (If you're AFAB, you know the "polite female voice") Treat others with the respect you deserve. Not everyone is going to like you; nor should they have to. You don’t need to be friends with everyone; nor should you feel the need to. You are not defined by anyone or anything outside of yourself.

Remember to be compassionate to your fellow beings, and treat all things with respect. Don't violate the rights of other living things whenever possible.

However, you don't owe anyone shit. It's possible to be kind without sacrificing your spine. "No" is a full sentence; and "no" is not mean. You are not obligated to give anyone what they want. It is not your individual responsibility to do anything for them. You don't have to help people. You don't have to give them money. You don't have to take them anywhere. Your needs are just as important as theirs; and your needs are the only ones you are responsible for.

Critical thinking is your friend.