How to Make Love ❤

(Not to be confused with sex.)

Love must be invited, inspired, and intensified.

Being Lovable:

◼ Physical:

Things like body shape, height, and facial features are not entirely under your control. People have a main type (partners they prefer) and a subtype (partners they accept). Those we choose for long term relationships are generally of our main type. Subtype partners can also make ideal long-term partners if the following categories are strong enough.

◼ Intellectual:

People of similar cognitive abilities are most attractive to one another. Someone who is much smarter than you is intimidating; someone less intelligent is boring or off-putting.

◼ Emotional:

People want to be around others who show them compassion. Expressing care and concern for others is attractive. Having a quick temper, gossiping, and wildly fluctuating moods are dealbreakers for most well adjusted people.

◼ Aura:

The difficult-to-define sense of who a person "is". This can be expressed in religious affiliation, personal identity categories such as gender expression or fashion, and mannerisms. Outward characteristics also play a large role in making a subtype attractive enough to date. These are easily changeable, but beware- adopting a new look to attract a mate will not work for the long term.

Stages of Falling In Love:

◼ Attraction:

You want to be closer to the person. That "second date" feeling.

◼ Acceptance:

You take the person for who and how they are. You can list things that you like about them.

◼ Attachment:

You want some commitment in you and the person's relationship. You might be nervous about your feelings being reciprocated.

◼ Aspiration:

You're excited to cooperate on shared future goals for mutual benefit. Shared projects, moving in together, and engagement are considered.

How to Love:

People want to feel liked, loved, and respected.

◾ Liked:

You want to spend time with me. You laugh at my jokes. You want my opinions. You go out of your way to make me happy. You defend me from criticism.

◾ Loved:

You desire me. I'm in a special category for you, above all others. You're optimistic about a future with me. You value compromises with me more than being proven right. You are gentle with me. You think I'm hot as fuck. I can count on you even when I mess up. When I'm wrong, you criticise my words and actions instead of me as a person. You choose my needs over your wants. You don't resent me when you get frustrated.

◾ Respected:

You value my opinion and my ideas. You stay on the right side of my boundaries. You don't ask me to justify the things I like or why something makes me uncomfortable. I can trust you to keep my secrets. You see me as an authority on what I'm good at. You take the times I slip up on facts as outliers and not a sign that I really don't know what I'm talking about.

Of course, it's impossible to project all these things 100% of your life; but they are your goal.