On Infidelity 💔
Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?
— Alma 39:5
The most commonly understood/given reason people have for infidelity is that their partner isn't attractive enough— this is one of the reasons people are so scared of it. No one wants to feel rejected. Inadequate. Unwanted. The other reason is losing the relationship itself, though many say that any relationship in which there is infidelity isn't worth saving. This is untrue. Nobody cheats because there is something wrong with their partner, they cheat because there is something wrong with them.
The real reasons are far more depressing.
Some people feel entitled to attention. They believe they are "owed" sex. AMABs are particularly susceptible to this conditioning. If they aren't getting the arbitrary amount of sexual attention they want, they start to resent their partner. They may demonize them to justify their infedility.
Everyone has urges for momentary satisfaction; wether it be a tasty looking cake that isn't theirs or a car they wouldn't be able to drive. A deep sense of self-hatred may cause a person to give in to these desires to "prove" to themselves how incapable they are of being a good partner. This is self centred because it disregards their partner's feelings. People may be in too much denial to recognise this in themselves before it is too late.
A desire to hurt their partner for personal joy. These people want to be "caught" and experience the power of being the "bad guy". This may be an attempt to create a power balance in the relationship in their favor. They may be setting up, early, a dynamic of cheating on their partner and begging for forgiveness aka the cycle of abuse They may also not care if the relationship ends, though they may not expect it to.
I admit that I have never been cheated on. I could never stay with someone who cheated on me. My ego would take over; I'd tell myself I could "do better". It isn't the sexual aspect as much as it is the lies.
I don't consider myself a very jealous person. I can be envious at times. It makes me sad to think of not being loved as much as someone you used to know. I want to be chosen. Maybe thay's Silly.
A person can get addicted to the victim mentality of being wronged. One can become obsessed with finding "proof" of their partner cheating. You don't need to prove anything to them. If you can't trust the person, just leave them.
“Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life threatening.” — Maya Angelou