I wish I could say I don't understand why you did what you did, but I do. You probably loved him. Maybe you loved both of them. I understand that, too. The two of us don't feel love others the way they love us. I wish I could have heard the story from you. Maybe I'd realize I was capable of it and stop myself before I ruined my life. I thought you were so sweet. Grandmas are sweet, right? Grandmas aren't
If you'd never betrayed your husband, my dad wouldn't exist, I wouldn't exist, and I never would have hurt anyone. I am the product of your lies. I hate the part of you that we share. How many times did you make the wrong choice? How many times did you leave the house knowing where you were going, and what you were going to do? Who did you see in the mirror before you started lying to the man you loved? Who did you see afterward? Both of us died as that person.
At least I didn't wait 50 years to tell the truth.
I don't judge your desicion to keep the baby. I have no idea what something like that feels like. Maybe he swore he'd be a good dad. He's scum for abandoning you to raise my father alone. 1/4 of me is that immorality, too. Nature and nurture..something like that.
I still love you.