I loved you so much. I believed in us. I don't regret that. You were the first guy I was with who I could really see myself marrying. You made me feel so safe. ... Still, supporting you was one of the worst times in my life. It hurt so fucking much knowing there was nothing I could really do so save you. I went back to church because I felt so alone. It was one thing I could do that made me feel connected to you. I just went upstairs and cried. I tried so hard to be a rock for you when I was falling apart.